I couldn’t understand why I had to give up everything for her because I was a few days older than Julianne. My parents were giving everything to her—Jeremy, the rooms, my toys, even my opportunity to go to college or win awards.
I wasn’t even allowed to keep my own name. But no matter how much I fought, it was pointless.
In my desperation, I even considered ending my life. I walked out into the deep sea, hoping that my death would make my parents regret their choices, hoping it would be my final stand.
Yet, when I ended up in the emergency room, and they called my parents, they were too busy celebrating Julianne’s birthday to even come to sign the consent forms. They even told me that if I wanted to die, I should just go ahead.
That was when I realized that nothing I did would ever matter to them.
Later, when I was old enough to change my name, I did just that. I changed it to “Emilia Quill”. A new name to start over my new life.
“You’re such a vicious creature!” Mom shouted. “I should’ve killed you when you were born!”
Her hatred was so intense that it made me wonder if, given the chance, she would truly have killed me at birth without hesitation.
I wiped the water off my face and said with a smile, “Mom, it’s not too late.”
She froze, confused. “What do you mean, ‘it’s not too late?'”
“I mean, you can kill me now. Don’t worry. I’ll write a letter of forgiveness for you, and Dad can make it look like I had some kind of mental breakdown. You won’t even go to jail.”
Even though I wanted to keep living, if she were so determined to end my life, I wouldn’t fight it. I would just return my life to her.
Mom was so angry that she couldn’t find the words to respond. Finally, she snapped, “Why didn’t you just die when you fell off that cliff?”
I gave a bitter laugh. “Yeah, why didn’t I die when I fell? It would have made everyone so much happier.”
Everyone would have been relieved if I were gone. Mom stared at me, unsure how to respond. Maybe she couldn’t think of anything to say, or maybe hearing the hopelessness in my voice brought out some form of motherly instinct within her.
After a long pause, her anger deflated, and she sighed. “But, Millicent, no matter what, you can’t say things like that. You can’t tell Julianne to die. You know how soft-hearted she is, and if you keep saying that, she really will try to kill herself.”
She added, “You’re her older sister. How can you not care about her feelings?”
I looked at her, wanting to scream, “Why can’t you care about me? I almost died when I fell from that cliff and spent over three months in the hospital! Why didn’t you care about me? Why didn’t you visit me even once?”
Nonetheless, no matter how badly I wanted to say those words, I kept quiet. Because saying them wouldn’t change anything.
Dad, who never had much patience for me, said sharply, “Enough with the pity party. Get up, clean yourself up, and come with us to apologize to Lianne at the hospital! And since you think Lianne and Irvin make a good couple, then hurry up and divorce him.”
He continued, “You’ve been standing in the way for years, and he still doesn’t love you. You need to face reality.”
Before I could respond, Dad went on, “You fell from that cliff and nearly drowned in that freezing water. We don’t even know if you can still bear him children. So, stop messing up other people’s lives.”
Mom chimed in, “Exactly. If you really love Irvin, then let him go. Let him be happy.”
I looked at my parents, and I finally realized. They knew how badly I was hurt. They didn’t think I was just throwing a tantrum.
They just didn’t care because I wasn’t worth their time. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing bitterly. “Fine. I’ll let them go. Let them be happy.”
