The summer of my junior year, beneath the deafening chorus of cicadas, I endured the most brutal, blood–soaked, and violent experience of my life.
It started with something so small.
A few workers installing air conditioning at school stopped me to ask for directions.
That was all.
I did nothing but point them the right way.
Then, one of them grinned wickedly.
They grabbed me and dragged me into the boys‘ restroom.
From the last burning streak of sunset to the stars settling over the quiet city, for three hours, I endured something no human should ever go through.
Was it really Ethan who burned me with a cigarette?
Was it really his hand that struck me?
And the milk that poured over my head…
Was it even milk at all?
Later, the police told me one of those men had been high on drugs.
That was why they did something so monstrous.
In the end, they were all caught.
But every day, I sat in my hospital room, drowning in tears.
I cried until there was nothing left in me, until I was too drained to make another sound.
Every day, I stared into the mirror, looking at the marks left on my body.
At the time, Ethan was my boyfriend.
But how was I supposed to face him?
Chapter 1
How could someone like me even deserve to be with him?
I couldn’t talk to him.
I didn’t want to.
More than anything, I wished he would leave me.
I wanted him to stop looking at me.
I wasn’t worthy of being with someone as good as Ethan.
I was a coward. A weak, pathetic coward.
And in the end, I chose to run.
Ethan refused to leave me, so I turned him into a villain.
I took all the filth, all the horror of what had happened to me, and I forced it onto him.
If I made him the monster, he would eventually hate me.
One day, he would have no choice but to walk away.
Just like Serena, my best friend, once upon a time.
