On my son’s birthday 10

On my son’s birthday 10

I hesitated for a long time. After all, he was my child. I gently wrapped my arms around his shoulders

He cried in anguish in my embrace and clutched onto my sleeves tightly. He feared that if he let go, I would disappear

It had been a long time since he last leaned on me. He had refused my touch for a while

Mom, I’m all grown up. Stop hugging me. It’s annoying,he said in the past

Yet, he would hug Leia affectionately

It hurt me at first, but over time, I grew numb and refused to let it bring me down

There had been a time when he really loved me

When he first learned to speak, I was the first person he called out to 

When he took his first few wobbly steps, he tumbled into my arms

Williams disliked me and preferred to stay at work rather than come home. During those days, James acted as my support system

In the past, he would sweetly call me Momand say that I was his favorite person

His eyes would shine with love. But then, Lela returned

There were days when Williams would be busy. Initially, James would refuse to go 

Lela whenever she came to pick him

However, as time went by, Leia started buying him the toys that he wanted. I could not afford them, and he began to change

Eventually, he stopped looking at me lovingly

I guessed that it was time to part ways because Williams dragged James away

He was still crying when they left. Back when I showered him with affection, even a single tear from him would break my heart

Yet, I felt nothing at this moment. In fact, I even found his crying a little annoying

It was not that I did not love him anymore; I just did not want to give him all my love again

On the day I was discharged, Williams and James came to pick me up

all th 

In all the years that I was married to him, he never picked me up. He did not even show up after I gave birth to James

I still remembered how cold it had been that day. It was drizzling when I was discharged

I was carrying the newly born James in one arm and my bag of clothes in the other

I gave Williams a call and asked if he could pick me up

However, he sounded rather impatient on the phone

Christelle, don’t you have legs? You need someone to pick you up, even though it’s such a short distance? You’re being 

dramatic.” 

I thought that was just how he was as a person, but later, I saw how he doted on Leia

That was when I realized that he was not cold; he just did not love me

I held Lucas’s hand, and we headed home together

I had already found a place online before my discharge

It was a small twobedroom apartment, which was cozy and wellfurnished

Williams dropped us off at the lobby downstairs

As I got out of the car, he grabbed my wrist abruptly

Christelle, are you sure about this?” 

He looked at me with an anticipation that I could not quite understand

I stared directly into his eyes and nodded calmly

In an instant, his anticipation vanished, and he returned to his indifferent self

On my son’s birthday

On my son’s birthday

Status: Ongoing

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